Why Moving Abroad Can Leave You Feeling Lonely (And How to Fix It)

Moving to a new country is exciting. You’re ready for adventure, new experiences, and a fresh start. But after the honeymoon phase wears off, many expats find themselves facing an unexpected challenge: profound loneliness.

You’re not alone in feeling this way. Studies show that up to 70% of expatriates experience social isolation during their first year abroad.

Building meaningful connections in a foreign country takes time, patience, and the right approach. This guide will show you practical strategies for finding your tribe overseas.

Whether you’ve just arrived or have been struggling to connect for months, these proven methods will help you build lasting friendships and create a support network that truly feels like home.

Why Building Connections Abroad Feels So Difficult

Language Barriers Create Real Obstacles

Even if you speak the local language, cultural nuances can make conversations feel stilted. Humor doesn’t translate the same way, and small talk topics that work back home might fall flat.

This communication gap can leave you feeling like you’re always one step behind in social situations.

Cultural Differences Run Deeper Than Expected

What counts as friendly behavior varies dramatically between cultures. Some societies value direct communication, while others prefer subtle hints.

Understanding these unwritten social rules takes time, and mistakes can feel embarrassing when you’re already feeling vulnerable.

Professional Networks Don’t Equal Friendships

Your colleagues might be pleasant, but workplace relationships rarely translate into deep friendships.

Many expats make the mistake of expecting their office social life abroad to fill all their social needs, only to discover that professional politeness isn’t the same as genuine connection.

Building Your Social Foundation

Start With Shared Interests and Activities

Join clubs, classes, or groups centered around activities you genuinely enjoy. Cooking classes, hiking groups, photography clubs, or volunteer organizations provide natural conversation starters and regular opportunities to see the same people.

Consistency is key—friendships develop through repeated positive interactions.

Leverage Technology to Your Advantage

Apps like Meetup, Bumble BFF, and Internations host regular events specifically designed for meeting people. Facebook groups for expats in your city often share information about social gatherings, housing opportunities, and local tips.

Don’t dismiss online connections as superficial—many lasting friendships begin with a simple message in a local Facebook group.

Embrace Being a Beginner

Taking language classes, dance lessons, or martial arts puts you in the perfect position to meet people.

Everyone expects beginners to make mistakes, which removes pressure and creates natural bonding opportunities. Plus, you’ll develop new skills while expanding your social circle.

Creating Meaningful Connections

Quality Over Quantity Approach

Focus on developing a few genuine friendships rather than trying to know everyone. Deep connections provide more emotional support than dozens of surface-level acquaintances.

Invite people for coffee, remember details about their lives, and follow up on conversations from previous meetings.

Be Patient With Yourself

Building an expat community takes longer than you might expect. Research suggests it takes approximately 200 hours of interaction to develop a close friendship.

Don’t get discouraged if connections feel slow to develop—this is normal and doesn’t reflect on your likability.

Show Up Consistently

Regular attendance at events or classes helps people get to know you. Familiarity breeds comfort, and people are more likely to approach someone they recognize.

Even if you don’t feel like going out, pushing yourself to attend social events often pays off in unexpected ways.

Navigating Different Types of Connections

Fellow Expat Networks

Other expatriates understand your unique challenges and can become your closest allies. They’re dealing with similar adjustment issues and are often eager to form new friendships.

However, don’t limit yourself exclusively to expat circles, as this can prevent you from fully experiencing your new culture.

Local Friendships Take Time

Locals often have established social circles and might not immediately see the need for new friendships. Don’t take this personally.

Focus on shared activities and interests rather than your expat status. Genuine curiosity about their culture and experiences can help bridge initial gaps.

Professional Relationships as Stepping Stones

While work colleagues might not become best friends, they can introduce you to their social circles. Accept invitations to after-work drinks or company events. These occasions often lead to meeting friends-of-friends who might become genuine companions.

Overcoming Common Obstacles

Dealing With Rejection and Disappointment

Not every invitation will be accepted, and not every potential friend will work out. This happens to everyone, not just expatriates. Rejection often has nothing to do with you—people have busy lives, existing commitments, and their social preferences.

Managing Expectations About Timeline

Setting realistic expectations prevents disappointment. Some people click immediately, while others need months to warm up. Your social life abroad won’t replicate what you left behind overnight, and that’s perfectly normal.

Handling Homesickness While Building New Bonds

Missing friends and family back home is natural and doesn’t mean you’re not appreciating your new environment.

Video calls and messages help maintain important relationships while you’re building new ones. Balance is key—stay connected to your roots while remaining open to new experiences.

Making Your Community Feel Like Home

Create Traditions and Rituals

Start hosting regular dinner parties, game nights, or coffee meetups. Taking initiative shows people you value their company and provides structure for ongoing friendships. Many expat communities begin with one person brave enough to send the first invitation.

Support Others Who Are New

Once you’ve established some connections, help newcomers integrate. This creates a positive cycle and strengthens your position within the group. Experienced expats who remember their early struggles often become the most welcoming community members.

Blend Old and New Relationships

Encourage friends and family to visit when possible. Introducing your home connections to your new community creates bridges between your different life chapters.

Many expats find that these visits help their new friends understand them better as complete individuals.

Building Lasting Bonds That Sustain You

Creating meaningful connections as an expatriate requires patience, openness, and persistent effort.

The loneliness you might feel initially is temporary, but the relationships you build can last a lifetime. Focus on being genuinely interested in others, showing up consistently, and remaining patient with the process.

Remember that every successful expat community started with individuals who took small, brave steps toward connection.

Your willingness to put yourself out there—whether joining a local club, attending a language exchange, or simply striking up a conversation—contributes to building the welcoming community you’re seeking.

Start with one small action this week. Send a message to that expat Facebook group, sign up for that cooking class, or ask a colleague for coffee. Your future self will thank you for taking that first step toward finding your people abroad.